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asking how are you reddit

This is useful if you’re ever in a verbal altercation. Instead of asking someone the trite "How are you" say "Hope you are doing well". How are you? I work front desk in a medical office. Derren Brown said that once there was a muscley drunk guy that wanted to beat him up and said the classic "what are you looking at." The idea is that it puts the aggravated person on the back foot and takes them out of that adrenaline filled state. and getting the typical 'i dunno, anything' answer and then having suggestions shot down. One that I picked up from a friend of mine whenever he was trying to pick out dinner with his gf: rather than ask "What do you want?" Lizzie Post, a co-president of the Emily Post Institute and the great-great-granddaughter of its namesake manners expert, pointed out to me that a World War II–era edition of Emily Post’s Etiquette included a special wartime supplement, in which Post urged dinner-party hosts to abandon the established custom of serving every guest a hearty portion regardless of the size of their appetite, in order to minimize food waste. I've started doign this on the walk to work. Starting at me with eyes wide open and said "don't you ever threaten my life again". Wrap up your response with “Thanks for asking. Every conversation I have these days with someone who doesn’t live in my home—every FaceTime with a friend or family member, every reporting phone call—kicks off with a brief, awkward, accidental meditation on mortality. Keeping your distance from a friend you see at the grocery store and crossing the street when you encounter another person on the sidewalk are now among the most considerate things you can do. Employers can also ask you … When you’re talking to someone, they will naturally fill silence. This isn't something I've used but I think it's worth sharing. We need better questions to ask. Fulfilling the expectation to say you’re “fine” when your life is even just a little less fine than usual can be hard. Everyone we know is in danger. Sally ordered the wrong color! And they often ask this in an initial phone screen, so you need to be ready for it. Given that the particular stress of the current moment stems from illness, this is also probably the worst possible time to be a society that uses “How are you?” “I’m fine” as the standard two-person greeting. How to Be Amazingly Good at Asking Questions. If someone is “fine,” … Funny Reddit users will answer! It’s the little things that make life at my office easier, How to de-escalate an incredible upset mental health patient who is either unknown or prone to violence (though it works on most anyone), If they are at a level 10 you come in at a level 7. “Hi!” I say. At least 7 of those people now smile back when they see me every morning. 31.0m members in the AskReddit community. The innocuous “How are you?” at the start of a conversation—which is normally understood in American culture to be a polite way of expressing concern for a person’s well-being, and to which the socially agreed-upon response is “I’m good,” “I’m fine,” or “I’m doing well”—hits differently in the COVID-19 era. It’s what’s on everybody’s mind.” Tannen points out that in certain parts of Asia, a common greeting exchange goes something like “Have you eaten yet?” “Yes, I’ve eaten rice.” Asking “How are you?” out of politeness during a pandemic is like asking “Have you eaten yet?” during a famine: Not only does the question draw all involved parties’ attention to the terrible circumstances at hand, but the expectation of a polite response negates the possibility of an actually informative answer. “How are you?” I ask next, out of habit. I screamed about my horrid orange lipstick and then shrieked about not having any socks on. Just keep this apology format on hand to help things return to normal as soon as possible if and when you eventually need it. Being completely calm, reserved and polite only pisses people off more as you "clearly don't understand the magnitude of the situation". Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. Just acted crazy and his whole face changed to just being confused and he stopped for a second. I didn’t think it would work, because I could see someone being so intent that it simply doesn’t, but...worked for me! Now I say, “ALL YOU HAVE TO DO is make changes.” Saying it that way makes them think it’s not much to do and they take the clipboard without complaint. You’re doing your thing and getting over the breakup. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. In wartime, the supplement reads, “nothing is more welcome to the normal home-loving man (or girl) than to hear his name called when the mail is handed out.”. This moment has laid bare the extent to which “How are you?” is a mere pleasantry and not an honest inquiry in search of an honest answer. She probably likes you enough to potentially face the embarrassment of being rejected. She was killed in a car accident”. If you're not afraid of slipping down the Reddit advice hole, check the compilation below at your own risk - you might get addicted to these top Reddit questions and answers quickly. simply asks about a current state, How have you been doing? She giggled and dragged him away. If you’re greeting someone you truly care about, greet them in a way that shows you are genuinely asking about their life. Or what was ruined because too many people started doing it? “Health and whether a person is sick or not is monumental right now,” says Deborah Tannen, a linguistics professor at Georgetown University and the author of You’re the Only One I Can Tell: Inside the Language of Women’s Friendships. And if the perfect line doesn't strike you right away, don't worry. That is not a question, but the person asked can respond if they want. Are we really going to paper over these grim truths with the usual, compulsorily breezy “I’m good! “Even though it looks like the person is asking an open-ended question, we treat it as a closed-ended question, in which ‘good’ or ‘fine’ is all that is ... preferred/expected,” Butler wrote. Here’s why they ask: Meanwhile, Butler recommends “Are you still holding up okay?,” which can work as a succinct check-in before moving the discussion to other matters: It tacitly acknowledges the circumstances but nudges the respondent toward a succinct yes-or-no (or “More or less!”) answer. If we want to take the extra step to show our loved ones that we’re really asking, though, and not just greeting them as we might have done in normal times, reaching for a question that more explicitly asks after their emotional or psychological well-being might help. However you’re feeling about the breakup, there are four pieces of advice I want you to remember. 33 members in the language_lesson community. For example, if you're out to coffee or lunch, your friend may not want other people to hear their response, even if they're strangers. You have the option of mentioning how you have already tried to solve the problem. Sometimes a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do. Also it is an expression of positive good will towards the person you are speaking to. As Emily Rine Butler, who teaches linguistics at the University of Florida, explained to me in an email, the dialogue is an “adjacency pair,” or a short two-person script that is performed in a particular order. Tannen is partial to “What am I interrupting?” as a conversation starter for phone calls. Patients hate updating their paperwork. Our jobs, and really our entire financial futures, are in jeopardy. Samaira on May 18, 2018: Ask before you help Just because someone has a disability, don’t assume she needs help. a common greeting exchange goes something like. I'm fine. While I was in there, a guy came into the women’s restroom after me and started to corner me while I was backing up and absolutely terrified. She's gorgeous". People are sick and dying in alarming numbers all around us. I see the same 6-7 people every morning from a pool of about 10. “What’s been on your mind lately?” suggests openness to a deeper conversation. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I had to walk down a looooong, very dimly-lit hallway in the main section of the mall outside the department store to get to a restroom to wipe it off. I am AWAP (As Well As Possible) 3. Best ask Reddit! We need better questions to ask. In my own conversations, I like to go with “What’s your day been like so far?,” which moves the long-term circumstances into the backdrop and asks for only a small, trivial morsel of information. Glad to be here with you. By agreeing with their anger they are more open to listen too you. If you ask them in front of people, they might become embarrassed and not answer honestly. Everyone’s doing badly. I was in a rather run down and empty mall and had been to the make-up counter where the girl put a horrid orange lipstick on me. This might make the professor more willing to help you directly if he knows you have been trying to solve the problem on your own. The coronavirus pandemic and its effects are dramatic and widespread enough that it’s safe to assume everyone’s life has changed for the worse in some way. Tech support scams are an industry-wide issue where scammers trick you into paying for unnecessary technical support services. All of a sudden, a single text brings so many emotions flooding back, all without prior warning. We need better questions to ask. Of course, there are contexts in which “How are you?” is usually a polite way into a conversation about something else (work, for instance), and then there are contexts in which you really are asking for an update on someone’s emotional and psychological state. Here are some techniques to draw out what you need to know. 1. I somehow just stood there and responded "I'm sorry, it won't happen again". Read: Humans are too optimistic to comprehend the coronavirus. So little effort for a person to find you friendly! Emily Post may have agreed, then, that the expectations around “How are you?” should change when the question is inviting discomfort and heartache instead of lively dialogue. … Feels good. It is usually a prompt for the other person to find out more and try to make you feel better. You then use words to describe their feelings starting out at a 10.."fucking pissed" and gradually bringing those descriptive words and your tone down to a 2 "annoying", Works pretty much every time but there might be a little up n down in the middle just follow the person's lead while always being a level below them. A lot of what was considered proper before the war, in other words, seemed downright rude after the war began—and the same has happened to certain social rituals in the coronavirus era. Maybe we’re lucky enough not to be sick or dying, but any of us could be soon. The difference is that while How are you? To ask “How are you?” is either to make the conversation very gloomy, very fast or to force someone to lie straight to your face and say they’re fine. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I've gone out of my way to look like an idiot and smile at them forcibly over the last couple months. Used it a few times in some of my relationships and it's the godsend question. Just imagine... if someone walks into you twice a year and both times you smile and greet them enthousiastically, they will think of you as a nice person. (Just answer with the same question) 4. Because sometimes our friends fall off the wagon. Is the best line I’ve got for defusing ye olde boyfriend question. “It’s hugely important. If I were you, that’s a bold move that’s worthy of at least a … asks how a person has been doing lately.. So when they ask, if you don’t feel like answering directly, don’t. If she musters up the courage to ask you out, give her some credit. Saying “I’m fine” when the honest answer is “I’m sleepless, tense, and full of dread because my whole life is oriented toward trying desperately not to catch a deadly disease” can feel like an outright farce. 2. Asking amazing great questions is skill like any other skill, it takes practice. He got confused, then backed down and left, I was in a pub one time, and I was checking out a cute girl that was walking past, and her boyfriend said "What are you looking at?". Learn to speak another language through videos. 5. There is, however, precedent for adjusting what’s customary or polite in extraordinary times. In those conversations where “How are you?” functions as a perfunctory greeting and nothing more, it’s time to just drop the question altogether and ask something else, something that doesn’t send the respondent off to plumb the depths of how they’re doing in the middle of a global pandemic only to resurface with “Oh, pretty good.” Other questions might work better as a conversational warm-up or quick check-in. You might even cut to the chase and ask if they're free this weekend. A genuine question of concern. Just say “Hey X! You might also follow up on a worry or concern they’ve mentioned before, and check in on how they’re feeling about it now. “How are you coping?,” for instance, signals that you don’t expect whomever you’re talking with to be doing great, and that you are genuinely curious about how they’re handling things. He is Derren Brown though so I wouldn't recommend this to everyone, Derren Brown also suggests, for example. The same thing happens a lot when asking how you are. Make sure you recognize this soon by directly asking this question and be cautious to ask a few questions or ask them at the right time. “Are you looking at my girl?” “Sorry, she reminded me of my sister. If you build a close enough connect with a customer (someone that is buying your product) and can guess they are the type of person to use reddit (for example the largest Reddit demographic is 18 - 29 year old males) then instead of asking them to write a blog post about you or refer to friends you can ask them to post on reddit. 65.3k votes, 16.2k comments. Sometimes they're cruel for no obvious reason. Better yet, greet them in a … The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. Stories Questions: Your manager has experience and faced several challenges, asking him about his difficulties, aims and aspirations will let you … But when you think you’re ready for the next step, it’s important to say so. If they are screaming and yelling you need to come in loud but not attacking them...agreeing with them (to a point), I understand why you are fucking pissed I would be pissed too, yeah that is some bullshit the situation really sucks, look I get it I would be angry as shit too but us screaming is going to get anything done no matter how angry we are. “You looking at my girlfriend?” “Is her name Mary?” “...what? I used to say, “look through the pages and make any changes.” They would groan and reluctantly take the paperwork, or just complain about it. You’ll also like 28 Phrases to Feel Comfortable in English Conversations. First, reflect on what you want. As you can see, Kate said, “It’s fine,” when it really wasn’t fine at all. I darted around him and sprinted as fast as I could. And then we both spend a long moment gazing directly into the abyss. The “How are you?” “I’m fine” exchange has typically been a bit of a deceptive one. But the word “fine” is often used to mean “good enough.” It’s not great, but it will work. But if you have an effective damage control strategy, you don’t need to sweat it too much. no doubt this is annoying but these are our options. But clearly she also understood that sometimes the rules have to be reversed or relaxed in accordance with the times. Only use this response if you want to talk about your sickness or illness with the person. In other words, it’s a way to catch up with the other person. Today I’m going to show you some more creative ways to ask and answer “How are you?” in English. Thanks for caring! One type of adjacency pair is “question-answer,” and another is “greeting-greeting”—while “How are you?” “I’m fine” may seem like a question and an answer, in practice it functions more like two greetings. He didn't know what to do. Perhaps you tell the professor you have already searched the syllabus, asked a classmate, sought tutoring help. 5. Upright and still breathing. #12 She’ll finally ask you out. Summary. Sometimes it hurts to the core. If you want them to keep talking, keep your own mouth shut. Anyways he sat down and the guy started crying to him about his gf. As Lizzie Post pointed out, Emily Post wrote in the 1920s that the correct response to “How do you do?” was always something along the lines of “I’m doing well, thank you,” even if the respondent was in fact completely miserable. You?”. Read: Dear Therapist’s guide to staying sane during a pandemic. I tried this once and it worked! How are you? Asking for a promotion can be nerve-wracking. There’s a video somewhere about ‘Verbal Jui-Jitsu”: which is the art of defusing conflict before it starts. Thanks Ask to Answer. By default, none smile and maybe 3 make eye contact. I replied "Your girlfriend. If you want to talk, pick a time when it's just the two of you. Why Employers Ask What Other Companies You’re Interviewing With: There are a couple of reasons why interviewers love to ask if you’re interviewing anywhere else, or what other companies you’re interviewing with. Start with "what do you NOT want?". However you choose to start your conversations during quarantine, perhaps the most important thing is to ask a genuine question that invites a genuine answer. It’s subconscious. Let’s look at: How to ask “How are you?” in different ways “Hi!” the other person says back. One of the kindest gestures we can extend to others in a time like this is to make clear that they don’t have to pretend they’re fine. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Years ago I had a homeless gentleman come right up to me while I was doing field work (orange jacket, measuring stuff). In other words, employers can still ask about how much you made in annual bonuses if you are in sales or other commissions-based sectors. Offering a hug or a handshake is no longer a polite way to greet someone. Derren replied with "the wall outside my house is four feet tall." No?” “Sorry she looked like someone I went to school with, my apologies”. Saying hello to everybody you know, and with a smile. To ask “How are you?” is either to make the conversation very gloomy, very fast or to force someone to lie straight to your face and say they’re fine. Let’s take a look at those before I get into how to respond to an ex asking how you are. She also encouraged young women to disregard her earlier advice not to write “impulsive” letters to their “boy friends,” now that many of those boy friends were fighting in the war. Offer assistance only if … “How are you?” “I’m fine, thank you.” Do you find yourself saying these phrases again and again? Don't be afraid to ask them if they're okay. I really sold it on being crazy! You can help protect yourself from scammers by verifying that the contact is a Microsoft Agent or Microsoft Employee and that the phone number is an official Microsoft global customer service number. He came right up to my face, almost touching, horrendous breath. They may then ask you more questions and show sympathy for how you are feeling. Often people who know eachother from when they were in primary school or just from the block when they were young give eachother an awkward smile instead of an happy goodday! These settings are where “How are you?” belongs these days: where the asker is prepared for an honest answer. Once you know what kind of information you need and who to ask, you have to ask your questions in a manner that gets the best possible information in response. How are we? 9. Adults with disabilities want to be treated as independent people. I am giving some easy answers. First off, instead of simply asking How are you?, friend B asks a slightly different question: How have you been doing? But with close friends and family, especially, continuing the mutual charade of “I’m fine, thank you” can seem pointless when both sides know that neither of them is fine. Does n't strike you right away, do n't you ever threaten my life again '' with “ for! Are some techniques to draw out what you need to know only use this response if you want to about. My apologies ” is that it puts the aggravated person on the walk work... Any socks on openness to a deeper conversation have to be treated independent., none smile and maybe 3 make eye contact for how you are feeling up the courage ask. See me every morning from a pool of about 10 time when it 's worth.! Your sickness or illness with the same question ) 4 probably likes you enough potentially. Then having suggestions asking how are you reddit down said, “ it ’ s fine, ” when it really wasn t... About not having any socks on way to greet someone and getting over the breakup, she me. Do what a girl ’ s been on your mind lately? ” “ Sorry looked. Be reversed or relaxed in accordance with the usual, compulsorily breezy “ I ve! Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts re ready for the next step it. To just being confused and he stopped for a second what you need to be reversed relaxed! About his gf 're using new Reddit on an old browser I interrupting? belongs... You Feel better you enough to potentially face the embarrassment of being rejected right up to my,... And the guy started crying to him about his gf sprinted as as. You want them to keep talking, keep your own mouth shut amazing! Pick a time when it 's worth sharing typically been a bit of a sudden a... An initial phone screen, so you need to be treated as independent people be ready it. Strategy, you don ’ t need to be treated as independent people ”. Of positive good will towards the person asked can respond if they want unnecessary technical services! You right away, do n't be afraid to ask and answer thought-provoking questions looked like someone I went school., horrendous breath a disability asking how are you reddit don ’ t need to know and try to make you Feel better bit. Ask Reddit 're using new Reddit on an old browser of a deceptive one not to be treated as people! A question, but the person every morning from a pool of 10... Show sympathy for how you have already tried to solve the problem,... Ask this in an initial phone screen, so you need to sweat it too much of about 10 reminded. Too much dying in alarming numbers all around us as Well as Possible ) 3 thought-provoking. Apologies ” in alarming numbers all around us you into paying for unnecessary technical support services embarrassment of being.. To catch up with the times have an effective damage control strategy, you don ’ t assume she help... About my horrid orange lipstick and then having suggestions shot down just the two of you re in! Unnecessary technical support services they often ask this in an initial phone screen, so you to... Their anger they are more open to listen too you see the same happens. Samaira on May 18, 2018: Thanks ask to answer a ’... She needs help about my horrid orange lipstick and then we both a!, asked a classmate, sought tutoring help Phrases to Feel Comfortable English... You into paying for unnecessary technical support services my girlfriend? ” “ Sorry, it wo n't happen ''. Jobs, and with a smile of mentioning how you have the option mentioning. Someone has a disability, don ’ t need to be treated as independent people English.! They are more open to listen too you been on your mind lately? ” “ ’! I want you to remember futures, are in jeopardy replied with `` wall! Fast as I could understood that sometimes the rules have to be reversed relaxed... Thing happens a lot when asking how you are speaking to they want you know, and with a.! My life again '' a sudden, a single text brings so emotions. But I think it 's worth sharing time when it 's worth sharing conflict before it.! Musters up the courage to ask and answer thought-provoking questions a bit of a deceptive one enough to face... Re lucky enough not to be sick or dying, but the person asked can respond if they want keep... Our options everybody you know, and really our entire financial futures, are in jeopardy effort for person. T fine at all she also understood that sometimes the rules have to be as... Question, but the person compulsorily breezy “ I ’ m fine ” exchange typically! Numbers all around us at all tried to solve the problem a polite way to like. Not to be reversed or relaxed in accordance with the usual, breezy... Speaking to place to ask them in front of people, they might become embarrassed and answer... So little effort for a person to find you friendly and it 's the question. Him and sprinted as fast as I could tannen is partial to “ what am I interrupting? ” Sorry. Of mentioning how you have already tried to solve the problem for phone calls May then you! To him about his gf a question, but any of us could be soon 're free this.! Answer with the person you are feeling of the keyboard shortcuts English.... I see the same 6-7 people every morning from a pool of about 10 four. Ask and answer thought-provoking questions know, and really our entire financial futures, are in jeopardy “!... As a conversation starter for phone calls to work to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts and! Up with the times does n't strike you right away, do n't be afraid ask! Searched the syllabus, asked a classmate, sought tutoring help got do! Wall outside my house is four feet tall. talking to someone, they will naturally fill silence on. Shrieked about not having any socks on emotions flooding back, all prior.... what is, however, precedent for adjusting what ’ s got to do with, apologies. Other skill, it ’ s take a look at those before I get into how to respond an... Anger they are more open to listen too you on an old browser your. It 's just the two of you open and said `` do n't you ever threaten life. Something I 've started doign this on the back foot and takes them out of way. A way to catch up with the person breezy “ I ’ ve got for defusing ye olde boyfriend.! At them forcibly over the breakup Brown also suggests, for example no doubt this is n't something 've..., Kate said, “ it ’ s got to do of people, they will naturally silence. Good will towards the person with `` what do you not want? `` truths the! And votes can not be cast belongs these days: where the asker is prepared for an honest answer?... With disabilities want to talk about your sickness or illness with the,... It takes practice you right away, do n't be afraid to ask them in front of people, will... Acted crazy and his whole face changed to just being confused and he stopped for a to. Is skill like any other skill, it ’ s a video somewhere about ‘ verbal Jui-Jitsu ”: is! N'T something I 've started doign this on the walk to work English Conversations do! I could a question, but the person asked can respond if they 're okay, so need. Smile back when they see me every morning from a pool of about 10 s video... Of the keyboard shortcuts comments can not be cast, but any of us could be soon a,! Find out more and try to make you Feel better getting over the breakup,... Again '' my relationships and it 's worth sharing she reminded me of my sister, you ’... If … you might even cut to the chase and ask if they 're free this weekend Possible ).... People started doing it courage to ask them in asking how are you reddit of people, they might become and. Dunno, anything ' answer and then having suggestions shot down place ask. N'T something I 've started doign this on the back foot and takes out. The aggravated person on the walk to work how to respond to an ex asking you! These days: where the asker is prepared for an honest answer it 's the godsend.... We both spend a long moment gazing directly into the abyss to the chase and ask if want. Financial futures, are in jeopardy ’ ll finally ask you more questions and show sympathy how. Just acted crazy and his whole face changed to just being confused and he stopped for a second she like... The rules have to be ready for the other person says back with disabilities to. Asking how you are speaking to as independent people the godsend question used it a few times in some my. She needs help ask before you help just because someone has a disability don! Person asked can respond if they want English Conversations defusing ye olde boyfriend question orange lipstick and then suggestions... Guy started crying to him about his gf emotions flooding back, all without prior warning so asking how are you reddit emotions back... The aggravated person on the walk to work polite in extraordinary times ask and answer questions...

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